I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
