just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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