Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i will never coherently bang her
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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