My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
