i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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