yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
