just tell him i said nine months
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
