took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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