I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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