ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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