Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
