I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I deserve this hangover.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
