i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize