got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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