Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
