Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
smell my finger.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
