No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
