I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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