weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
