I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Let's get the cat blown out
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
