I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
