Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
honey bunches of taint.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All the doctor said was why
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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