well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
