He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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