I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm too high and old for this...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
