Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
