We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
