White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
