Are we in a gay sports bar?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
