found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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