You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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