Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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