Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
