either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
