It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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