connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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