I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
