just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize