just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize