This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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