I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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