Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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