shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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