Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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