Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
