he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Girls should come with a carfax report
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
