did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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