So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
