so that wasnt chicken after all
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
