Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
