I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
