is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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