idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
