Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
