She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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