If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When did angry sex become our thing?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
FUCK WHALES
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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