i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
