Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
