the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
