omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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