So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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