I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
