Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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